necessary

i wonder what it would be like to know where you are at and where you are going.
everyone says you need to network to be successful and it's not that i'm doubting it i'm only doubting myself and my abilities to network.
i went to a party last night and i went to the bathroom by myself which is typical of me but not so typical of the average female and i thought of how i had nobody to go to the bathroom with me even if i did want someone to. and i thought of all the things that i don't necessarily need or want to be happy but things of which i simultaneously notice their absence . how can anyone even know what they need to be happy?

i thought of how badly i relate to people
and do i really even want to relate to people anyways ?
sometimes it seems like the only people i can relate to are killing themselves in one way or another
but i guess that's everyone.